Maybe it was the seven or so Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies I ate last night. Maybe it was listening to Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling” five times in a row (and knowing it’s okay to go for six). Maybe it’s because I did yoga every day this week (not going to yoga in a studio; just doing it myself, on my living room floor–nothing fancy).
Whatever it is, I feel the polar opposite of “feh” today. I was totally “feh” last week, and I went through a few days of “blah,” but now, for whatever reason–different day? The hormone goddesses are with me?–I feel a combination of great, energized, happy for no reason, and relieved.
Ahhhhh. That’s how I feel. That’s the opposite of “feh.”
I love this feeling because it’s not contingent on anything in particular. Nobody promised me a rose garden, a new car, an easy time of it, or anything other than a very rainy day. But after a nice cup of tea, Bella and I went out for walkies (her word, not mine) and I didn’t kvetch about the wetness or the mud in our fetid neighborhood dog park. Instead, I thought, Well, I’m lucky that Bella and I are out before the downpour starts. After the dog park, we went for a little jog; that felt totally great. I didn’t mind the chilly mist–in fact, I thought it was probably good for my skin. At that point, I knew something was up, because I usually hate being cold and wet.
Aside from external influences that are either positive or negative, I’ll never know what makes me think that one day is “good” and another one is “bad.” I’ll paraphrase my friend Amanda, who used to say, “Who died and made you the arbiter of what’s good?” (Jeez, she’s blunt.) I only know that on “bad” days, I can re-start my day as many times as I want. I had to re-start Wednesday at least three times, and I had a new breakfast every time I did it. Eventually, things got better.
So, last week: Feh. Mid-week: Blah. Today: Ahhhhhh. Tomorrow: Not going there. I’m sticking with Ahhhhh for at least the rest of the day.