Memorial Day Food Massacre

May 31, 2010

Here are the menus for the holiday weekend food I’ve eaten so far:

FRIDAY
Celebratory burgers and fries
We were at the local tavern to celebrate the fifth anniversary of the day I met the man who would become The Hubbins, but who back then was simply known as Nathan, at a yoga retreat in Costa Rica. Me: Ooh, he’s cute . . . Oh, I should be thinking spiritual thoughts. OM . . . OM . . . OMG, he’s so cute!

SATURDAY
A ridiculous lunch of pulled pork sandwiches, barbecued beans, potato salad, and mac n’ cheese
I get this call from the man formerly known as Nathan, now The Hubbins: “I just passed a truck that says it has the best pulled pork sandwiches in New Jersey. But we probably shouldn’t get that for lunch since we had burgers last night, even though they say they’re the best, right?” If he was asking me not to be an enabler, well, maybe he’ll learn better in the next five years.

A “light” supper of roast chicken and grilled corn
Me: “After that lunch, I think I just want to have a bowl of cereal for dinner.”
Him: “Or we could have chicken and corn.”
Me: “No, really, I’m stuffed.”
Two hours later . . .
Me: “Hand me that thigh, would you?”

SUNDAY
An all-out food orgy with chicken wings, chips with artichoke dip, burgers stuffed with bleu cheese, hot dogs, spinach salad with tenderloin of beef, cole slaw, corn on the cob, brownies, and summer trifle
My friend Alice had a little party and made a lot of food. We didn’t want to insult her, so we ate a little of everything. And then went back for seconds.

MONDAY
A slight return to sanity with salad, grilled fish with corn on the cob
Me: “I think I want to become a raw food vegan for the next five days.”

And in my own defense, may I say that in between stuffing myself and swooning into a food coma, I managed to get in two mile-long runs and some yoga–not because I’m so conscientious about health, but because I’m too cheap to buy new pants and need to fit into my old ones.

I hope everyone had a safe, healthy, and very satisfying long weekend. Cheers, dears!

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